


Rush Hour

by Starship_Spectacle



Series: Off--Beat! (FNF AU) [2]
Category: Friday Night Funkin' (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Repressed, Hurt No Comfort, Memories, Mental Instability, Minor Violence, Pain, Unhappy Ending, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starship_Spectacle/pseuds/Starship_Spectacle
Summary: Boyfriend finds himself walking back home in the middle of winter after spending a near perfect day with his Girlfriend.That is up until he finds himself in front of two familiar faces.Evan finds himself tripping and falling down Memory Lane.(Heyy! If you liked the last fic then you're gonna love this one! The BF angst train never ends here. So buckle in and hold on tight because there's much more where this came from✨✨)(Hope you enjoy the ride!)
Series: Off--Beat! (FNF AU) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180280
Kudos: 30





	Rush Hour

**Author's Note:**

> Here's yet another dig into my BF's perspective and past.
> 
> I honestly enjoyed writing both this one and the last one quite a bit so expect to see more works that are similar.
> 
> Don't worry though if you don't enjoy the angst, I have many more different types of things I want to write for Offbeat so it isn't entirely angst or pain focused. I'm just trying some things out for now and hope you all enjoy reading my mess! ✨✨

_ Imagine leaving your own body and being forced to stand by and watch. Watch as it moved on without you. _

_ Imagine seeing yourself slam your fists against the wall to the point your knuckles bleed and your skin peels. _

_ Imagine that and you'll know a portion of what I feel. _

  
  


He was never the  _ violent _ type. Or at least he never seemed to be. He never looked like it. Occasionally cocky at best, nervous or anxious at worst but never once did Evan show himself to be actually hostile or intend any ill will towards anyone.

Even if someone got on his nerves he would wave it away with a chuckle or try to diffuse the situation. He was decently reasonable and often joked about most things directed towards him. He had no reason to be angry at anything, right?

_ There was no reason for his blood to boil like it did. He was fine. Nothing happened. Why was he getting so worked up? _

In most conversations, whenever his friends or Jenny was around he gave off such a chill and laid back vibe. One couldn't possibly imagine him getting into a fight. 

_ He wanted to scream. Wanted to empty out his lungs and tear at his hair. Let his fingernails scrape and scratch against the wall. It was painful. _

_ He hated it. _

_ It made him sick. It was sickening. All alone in the room with nothing but static in his head. He hated it. _

  
  


_ Please let it  _ **_end_ ** _. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


It was rush hour. People running back and forth between shopping centers and stores. Some holiday sale was going on and the city was covered in snow and pedestrians. Lights and all sorts of decorations. Christmas was over but that didn't mean people weren't still rushing about to get gifts and other such things for their loved ones.

Likely that this was all because items at some stores were about half their price now after the initial sales and stocks need to be used up. Or something like that, Evan guessed. He was honestly only out to get back home from spending the day at Jenny's place. The day darkened fast and through the dusk he walked the long way back to his apartment.

  
  


He didn't exactly think a whole lot about it. It was a pretty decent day, he loved spending time with his girlfriend and lately overall things have been going pretty well for the rapper. Jenny's parents started taking more of a liking towards him, he got to release his Christmas album, overall things were all just  _ peachy. _

_ Sweet, even. _

Light on his feet as he continued his walk, he felt as though  _ nothing _ could ruin his current mood. Giddy to all hell and earbuds plugged in with music at max volume. The incoming night and the way the lights across the town lit up only helped keep his mirth despite how tacky it was to even keep them up at this point in time.

Maybe he could just head home and relax, watch tv, play some games maybe or even text the hell out of someone for the sake of it. He hummed to himself slightly to follow along with the song until he noticed something.

_ Squ-eak! _

  
  


Huh? Evan snapped out of his daze, realizing he just stepped on something. Stopping for a moment he looked down to see it was something akin to a dog toy of sorts.. Except bigger. Actually, it looked like a cloth doll. Some kid must have dropped this not too long ago.

That brought forth the question though.. Should he pick it up? It didn't look that dirty. Well. Save for him stepping on it but it could have been much worse for being on the city pavement honestly. He'd have to hurry it up though because there were still plenty of folks willing to push and shove around to get to where they wanted. 

  
  


_ Well, why not? _ He decided he'd try at least to pick it up and see if the owner was around anywhere. It sounded like an impossible task but he was feeling up to a good deed. And even if he couldn't find said person the toy could be put in a lost and found somewhere, right? Crouching down to pick the doll up, he took a good look at it before getting back up and walking again to follow the flow of people. It looked like some weird pink rabbit from some popular cartoon show that had been broadcasted lately.

Hopefully the owner would be too hard to find..

Evan dusted the toy off and looked around the crowd, trying to see if there were any parents walking with their kids that he could return it to. 

He was hoping he didn't look like a creep scouring out for kids in the middle of the street. That'd be a pretty bad misunderstanding. A big hit to his increasing reputation as well.

Finally, after what appeared to be a good time of walking and searching, he found what appeared to be his target: there was a couple with a stroller not too far off. The side of it appeared to have a small purple bag hanging off that held the appearance of the same pink bunny he held in his hands. What a stroke of luck! He could return this quickly and get back on his way no issue!

Or so he thought.

Evan quickened his pace towards the couple, calling out as he got closer. "Hey! Could you two stop for a moment?" Hopefully it was loud enough during all of the noise for him to be heard.

Surely enough they stopped and one of them looked back to who was approaching them.

  
  


Evan almost froze right there and then. A familiar pit of dread spread throughout his chest as he was met with a face too familiar to forget. No matter how many times he'd try.

  
  


_ No… it can't be… _

  
  


The couple stopped their stroller and now both were looking back at the blue haired boy in confusion by the looks of it.

  
  


Both the man and woman were people he recognized.

  
  


He gulped. Mouth suddenly feeling dry as a blaring heat started behind his eyes. In his head. It was unbearable but he had to continue.

_ Surely.. It can't be… right? It's not.. _

"Uh… I found this.." He started again, trying his hardest to keep his voice from shaking. From showing weakness.

_ Much like he did before. _

He presented them with the doll and their eyes flashed with recognition.

"Oh dear, it seems we dropped Erica's Bo Bunny!" The woman started, voice lit up with concern.

_ Her voice. It had to be her. _ It made his insides recoil. He almost shrank away but he knew he couldn't. Not at the chance that these two would end up recognizing who he was.

_ Which was funny that they didn't even recognize him at first. It showed the amount they really seemed to care. _

"Yeah I found it a block or two away. This  _ is _ yours, right?" He tried playing it cool. Keeping himself composed. Calm. Calm.

Something clicked though.  _ Erica? _ He'd never heard that name before.

  
  


He took a glance at the stroller. The pit only deepened.

"It is, we're very sorry for the trouble." The male of the couple confirmed with a nod, adjusting his glasses and checking the stroller again. It appears as though the toy was the only thing that fell out, the bag that it stayed in wasn't zipped all the way in properly.

_ This felt like a nightmare. It felt unreal. Like none of this was supposed to happen. Why are they here? Why now? _

His head hurt.

"Thank you so much! If she spent even a day without it we'd be in for a lot of trouble!" The woman snapped him out of his daze again, a playfully joking tone in her voice.

_ He never experienced that tone before. He never experienced any of it before. He was trying his best to get out of this illusion. Maybe these aren't really them. They can't be. They can't possibly be. _

Evan only nodded and gave a halfhearted smile in return. "I guess nobody wants that huh." His reply sounded absolutely  _ empty. _ But he didn't owe these people any proper reaction or show of emotions.

_ No. Not one fucking bit. _

He quickly turned away and tried to speedwalk as fast as he could as they tended back to the stroller. Sneaking out of the scene as he almost lost all of his breath. The cold air was starting to shoot icy daggers into his throat and it was then that he realized he was now  _ sprinting _ home.

Crackling fire burned behind his vision. His head pounding. He ran as though he were a hound out of hell itself. Not even caring anymore about the occasional passerby he shoved or ran past. 

_ No. No.  _ **_No._ ** _ Not here. Not now. _

His eyes were on fire. And soon his throat would be as well.

_ This wasn't real. This couldn't possibly be real. This had to be some fucked up dream. Some alternate universe. _

Breathlessly, he took a turn down an empty alley. Opting to stop and take a break for a moment, now leaning against the wall as he processed everything that had just gone down.

He had met with the two people he thought he would never see again in his life, people he  _ hoped _ never to see again in his life. Heart pounding and head spinning in a circuit, the blue haired boy clenched his fists and grit his teeth. The incoming rage and anger that had started to form was becoming too much. He couldn't take this.

  
  


_ Those people back there were his parents. _

  
  


Evan slumped against the wall. The high of the sudden adrenaline rush was wearing off and inside he felt a void. Soon sitting on the ground in the alleyway. Not even caring about how cold and unclean it was. His eyes were welling up.

_ He never wanted to see them again. Not after how they treated him. Not after how they kept him trapped his whole life. _

_ Not after- _

_ Images flashed before his eyes. He remembered an alcohol bottle and laying on the kitchen floor. _

_ He remembered retching out right in front of them. Their perfect A student son was hungover right in front of them. They watched with disappointment. Their voices said it all. _

_ They looked through his room. _

_ They found everything he had hidden for the past couple of years. _

_ They took it all. _

_ They lit up the fireplace. _

He choked out a sob. His body was shaking violently and it wasn't because of the cold.

  
  


_ What was it like to see everything you loved burn? _

Evan had been doing  _ so well _ lately. Ever since he left them he was able to follow what  _ he _ wanted to do.

He wasn't being held down and forced to fit a mold of endless expectation. No books held over his head, no isolation from everything that wasn't "worthwhile".

He could finally be himself.

And now here he was. Mortified as though a ghost from his past was giving him a good beating for being an idiot.

_ Did you see them? There they were. Acting like a normal couple. Talking like actual people. _

_ Acting like actual parents to a child you never even knew about. _

Every thought only struck deeper like a dagger. He held his arms around himself and tried keeping himself quiet. His gasps and rasps out for air silenced by violent bites to his tongue and lower lip.

He almost bit it off entirely.

_ He remembered how throughout all his life they only wanted him to follow a set path. The path to be "successful". He wasn't supposed to go out. He wasn't allowed to even talk to anyone they didn't want him to. _

_ He was a puppet and they had control over every action he made. That's why he became a liar. _

_ A rotten, filthy liar who spilled his guts in front of his own parents. _

_ "Shut up." _

_ "Go away." _

_ "Shut up." _

_ "Go away." _

_ "Go away." _

_ "Leave me alone." _

_ Their eyes always watched. They always knew everything but they knew nothing at the same time. _

_ He wanted it to end. He wanted them gone. _

_ He wished he was never there to begin with. _

  
  


After a good few minutes of just sitting there and crying, Evan got up. Dizzy. Lightheaded.

He wanted to fucking puke.

He hated them. He  _ hated  _ them. He hated how they never accepted him. He hated how they took everything away from him any chance they got. He hated how they never cared. How they only wanted him to get them higher status or money or some shit. How they didn't even  _ raise _ him and only pushed upon him everything they could to make him  _ perfect. _

How they decided the routines weren't enough and opted for  _ medicine _ to make him "better". 

How now they both were acting like normal fucking human beings. How they have  _ another kid _ to fuck up.

Evan never remembered having a god damn toy aside from an abacus. Oh yeah don't worry, that's not the jealousy speaking.

A prodigy child is what one would have called him but he was never good enough was he? Playing piano was not enough, studying to the point of withdrawing sleep was not enough, doing everything in his power to please them was not enough.

No. If he was good enough maybe they wouldn't have done all of the things they did.

They wouldn't have stripped him of actual parental care. They wouldn't have fucking shoved everything they could down his throat.

_ He was never good enough. _

His eyes fixated on the wall before him. He felt like he wasn't moving of his own will. Like he was just watching it go down.

The burning sensation of wrath was starting to blow up within him. If he let out a loud cry he didn't remember. He couldn't focus. He wasn't paying attention.

He hated it. He  _ hated. _

More tears slid down his face, hands grabbing onto his hair under his cap. He wanted to pull it out. He wanted to pull at every piece of his fucking skin and rip it off.

_ What was it like to have your emotions unchecked and bottled up for 17 whole years? _

It wasn't pretty. That's for sure.

It would end up with someone punching at a wall until one of their wrists broke.

After that, said person would just lean their head against the wall, whimpering at the fresh pain and tiredness starting to take over.

_ Oh how he could just bash his head in. _

How long did he stay leaning there? Perhaps just a few minutes to a full hour. He didn't know.

All he knew now was that he just wanted to  _ go home. _

Maybe then he'd stop seeing red. Blood pumping rapidly through his veins as his breath was quick in pace. It slowed down after the initial rush though and he found himself slowly stumbling out of the alleyway.

He was grateful no one was there. Pulling the hood of his jacket up and pulling his cap down to cover his face. The streaks across it were thankfully not that visible.

His brain felt empty. The burst he had earlier left him with  _ absolutely nothing. _

There was only one clear thought running through his head, gaze clouded.

Evan needed to get his hand fixed. 


End file.
